Beer... Because my husband "fixed me" – how to impress a guy with your crafty beer knowledge this Valentine's Day!
Ok winos, don’t disown me!! I'm not a traitor, I have just evolved my pallet to include the joy of craft beer...because my husband "fixed me” (his words not mine). I wanted to pass on this knowledge in time for you single ladies to impress your date tonight for Valentine’s Day.
And if you’re looking for next year’s Valentine… Not only are craft beer events way more casual than wine tastings, but your chances of meeting a hot heterosexual guy (probably with a beard) just tripled! You need to get off Tinder and start drinking more beer! (Solid dating advice…)
I know the ABVs and IBUs and IPAs of craft beer may seem like a foreign language at first, but once you’ve got the lingo down, you’ll be able to hold your own in any beery setting. A few things to keep in mind:
Craft beer is typically a little stronger than your light beer and might hit you harder than your trusty old chardonnay… So if you want to keep your panties on, read the ABV (alcohol by volume) percentage, try to stick to around 5ish% at first and work your way up from there.
If you take a drink and then make a face like a sour patch kid, chances are your tasting hops and you probably ordered an IPA (India Pale Ale). Hops are an acquired taste; try eating something salty between sips to avoid making the face. It helps a lot!! To avoid the face all together read the IBU rating (International Bitterness Units), if it’s above 60 or so and it’s light in color then order salty carbs or pass all together. If the IBU is over 60 and it’s dark in color chances are your fine, bold flavors like chocolate or coffee were added to balance out the taste of ass.
Beer guys love to talk about beer! (I know, I married one.) So ask them questions, ask for suggestions, then ask them to come home with you…to soon? Ok, stick to asking questions about beer and if you’re not able to make up your mind ask for a flight so you can try a bunch of things to figure out what you like.
And finally, eat something for goodness sake (and not just a side salad) before drinking! You need carbs… gasp I know! But it helps soak up the booze, and you will feel better.
Below I have a few suggestions to get ya started based on your current drinking preferences.
White Wines (chardon-nay nay):
Sweet: Austin East Ciderworks Texas Honey
Dry: Austin East Ciderworks Original Dry
Red Wine lovers try a Stout…they are strong and sweet (just like I like my man).
Sweet: Southern Tier Warlock
Dry: Revolver Mother's Little Fracker
Chances are if you’re ordering a light beer, some bearded hottie has tried to order you something stronger. So that you’re not left at his mercy, try ordering a Deep Ellum Dallas Blonde or a Southern Star Bombshell Blonde. They are still pretty light but have a little more flavor, and will spark up a conversion too!
If a brew comes with fruit, it’s less calories right? Well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! If this is your beer of choice try a Revolver Blood and Honey, it’s a wheat beer that’s finished with Blood Orange zest and it's freaking AMAZING!
Martini Kind of girl
So you can handle the hard stuff and you’re not looking for something super sweet – try an Irish Red like the Peticolas Velvet Hammer. WARNING this is one that will make it a good night quickly at 9% ABV.
If this knowledge does not impress your V-day date tonight, screw him you don't need that kind of negativity in your life! He is obviously no fun BYE FELICIA!!! Now order another round of brews, you crafty bitch!